I like this story very much. Here in Portland, Oregon we just had the first meeting of what we want to call the Portland Aging Mandala. I read your story to the group, and it was very well received. I am going to post it on my blog.

Thank you, Phyllis. I agree. Some practical actions rather than just philosophy would be helpful. I haven’t even found so much as a discussion group on ageing in my area. There was a brief video presentation once, but the cost was prohibitive for me and some others. The cost of Shambhala programming is prohibitive for many older people who would like very much to practice and participate. Older people have a lot to share, but there is little room for that sharing to take place. As we age and die, we are forced to rely on inadequate support from outside the Shambhala community. If people have ideas about how to make meaningful changes, I would so like to hear them.

No one, so far, has really addressed this within the sangha though there has been a ‘working group’ given to the topic. There are no talks about collective living, or building a retirement community that is affordable. Most do have some form of social security benefits. Nor is there any talk of “moving” the dharma elders closer to the opening in the tent, the position of esteem in some cultures. We can speak of this topic in a broad sense but it might be time to deal with it in a more specific, pragmatic and closer to home sense. I have said similar things before but I have had no sign that anyone is listening or ready for action. Instead, I, and others, have noticed a general trend toward moving the elders out of useful positions. Since our Shambhala society seems to be an hierarchical one, I might have said higher positions, directorships and so on. I personally regret the sideways hierarchical progression but, and here’s the topper, the elders don’t have any voice. You can site the basic goodness theme ad infinitum but this important aspect of this society as a whole entity is missing the elder piece. It seems there are enough people on the roll call to have some foresight rather than leave caretaking to close relative, friends, social services, or senior centers. A Shambhala approach to this ‘gearing up’ would be welcome. Anyone??

Our Elders as teachers:

I remember very vividly one of the greatest transmissions my grandmother gave to me. She was hospitalized and in the process of dying. We were alone in her hospital room, her in bed and me sitting bed-side. The conversation turned to the future, and it hit home that she would not be around much longer – that my future would not have a Grandma Trudy in it in her present form. I choked up and started to stumble through some kind of goodbye, and she turned to me and said quite simply: “Oh, this is your first big goodbye. I will try to show you a good death.” And she held true to her word – approaching her own passing with honesty and humor – allowing herself to feel and struggle and let go in such a dignified and selfless way. Her teaching still touches my heart.

When we divorce ourselves from our elders, we miss these great teachings. It is my secret hope that with the baby boomers aging, and the lack of social resources, we may find solution in reintegrating our elders into our homes and daily lives and reconnect to our personal lineages.

One of my Tibetan friends who has lived in to Tibet, China, India, and Nepal said that when she first came to the US the first thing she noticed was the “lack of old people everywhere”. All she could think was, “what have they done with them?” She said it was so startling compared to any other country she had visited that she was sure we were hiding them somewhere. Where she was from there were always very active elders walking around outside.

I think with the baby boomers we could start to really see the first generation of Americans retiring outside the US with their Social Security money. For instance, migrating to Asia to be able to afford the cost-of-living and have a good quality of life including more affordable (and elder respectful) medical care.

We all would like to age gracefully with dignity and have the financial means to have a comfortable life until our passing. This will happen to some; however, there are many within the baby boomer generation that are in financial crisis and see a dim future for late old age and being taken care of with dignity. The numbers are actually huge and many of that generation are opting for suicide, if you look at the numbers. Somehow this needs to be addressed or very simply many will suffer in a way that seems terrible for the richest country in the world. This is not only an economic problem but also a spiritual one.