True Stories from a Buddhist Psychotherapist

By Paul Cashman

A book review by Christine Heming

There is room for messy emotions and feelings. . . We don’t need to fix ourselves or someone else.

Our emotional lives are totally workable.

We can make our emotions work for us instead of against us.

Reading Paul Cashman’s book, Brilliant Emotions, is like a breath of fresh air. As Cashman tells us, there is very little literature available focusing on how to draw out the sanity, richness and loving-kindness hidden within what is often referred to as “negative emotions.” In fact, after reading this book slowly and carefully, I would suggest that there are no negative emotions, only unsuccessful and potentially harmful ways of relating to our emotional experiences.

Therein lies the beauty of this book. Cashman offers an approach to touching into, exploring, befriending and liberating all manner of emotional turmoil. This process brings clarity, courage and loving-kindness to us and to our relationships with others. His confidence in our capacity to do this is contagious, and his Four-Step Practice holds the key.

Cashman’s faith in human wisdom comes from years of being soaked in the practice and study of Buddhist teachings as well as a wealth of experience as a practicing psychotherapist. His methods are an exceptional and profound combination of the best of the traditional Western approach to psychotherapy and the ancient traditions of vajrayana Buddhism. He writes: “Every negative emotion contains wisdom that can be found when we learn how to contact the emotional energy directly.” This is the heart of the four-step practice.

Brilliant Emotions focuses on seven emotions: anxiety, fixation, anger, ignorance, jealousy, arrogance and inadequacy. Each emotional state is defined and discussed in clear, ordinary language. Stories of clients challenged by these emotions illustrate both the agony of being stuck in these emotional states as well as the transformational path that emerges from the four-step practice: anxiety and fear transform into courage, fixation into connectedness, anger into clarity, ignorance into awareness, jealousy into empowerment, arrogance into worthiness, and inadequacy into dignity. The presentation of each emotion concludes with exploratory questions and contemplations that invite the reader to delve into their own emotional experiences.

We live in a time in which many of us have lost touch with our feelings. In fact, we often don’t even know how we feel at any given moment! At the same time, acting out our negative emotions has become normalized, sanctioned as “telling it like it is.” However, as Cashman points out: “When negative emotions are acted upon or acted out, they cause enormous chaos and pain both in relationships and the world at large.” Learning how to channel our emotional energy into qualities that help this world is another tremendously important outcome of Cashman’s work.

If you want to have a clearer understanding of human emotions, read this book. If you want to be free of the stronghold of negative emotions, Cashman offers you a doorway, the understanding and the practice to guide you. The language in this book is clear and accessible, and uplifting. Cashman is not afraid to use phrases like “noble and worthy,” “brilliant sanity,” “wisdom,” and “compassion” to describe our human potential. Not since Miriam Greenspan published her groundbreaking book, Healing Through the Dark Emotions, the Wisdom of Grief, Fear, and Despair, have I read a book so crucial to our fundamental well-being and so relevant to a healthy and loving relationship with others. Read this book. Read it again and again. It has the power to heal and change how you live your life.

Brilliant Emotions-Great Agony, Great Promise by Paul Cashman is now available on Amazon.com.

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About Christine Heming

Christine Heming is a writer and educator. She has been a student of the buddhadharma for over 45 years, a senior teacher, and meditation instructor. Her teaching is focused on creating a kinder, more equitable and just society. She lives in Port Royal, Nova Scotia.