Wednesday
Community ArticlesShambhala Time Out
The Shambhala Shop now offers complete Kitty Buddah Kit - cat not included
New Inter-species Study Group a Great Success
Patience seems to be the key word during walking meditation with snails.
Weekend morning drill practice with howler monkeys upsets neighbors.
Resident Elephant Director gives astonishing Friday night public talk…
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President and aide de camp exchange secret military mudras
President Reoch Spends Week in One Place
Moss reportedly growing on right side of face
While reports of Shambhala’s president residing in a single location longer than two days defy the imagination, our reporter has reliable evidence of Terrifying Face lounging at Club Med!
Aide de camp caught off guard – proceeds to Outer Mongolia, Iceland and then Peru before discovering the president has gone missing…
Mandala Services Office of Central Communications in high gear
Shambhala Media Discovers Telegraph
The Mandala Services Group has purchased the latest in modern communications technology
Expects significant increase in intra-provincial correspondence over the next fifty years!
Immediately overwhelmed with user demands – system crashes…
Oryoki master tests nutritional value of new "one bowl" practice
Office of Practice and Education Announces “Oryoki for the Fast Crowd”
New menu from Swansons could change centuries-old traditions
Comptroller praises move as significant cost-saving feature!
Bill of fare to be distributed via telegraph annually on Shambhala Day…
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Comptroller’s Office Hires New Recruits
Shambhala’s Central Services Has Hired Off-Duty Purnachandra Personnel to Handle Finances
Members of the Kasung Naval Forces are hard at work to account for income and expenses.
Their first task: to distribute fairly the donuts required by Shambhala newest working group, The Working Group for Contemplation of and Compassionate Action Regarding Days-Off. [see next article] A decision is expected within the next six months, if the money holds out.
Next: the new finance professionals will examine requests for coffee distribution.
Days-Off Working Group meets to coordinate strategies for doing nothing
Working Group formed to Contemplate Days-Off
Survey volunteers are needed in mandala-wide assessment on how to work compassionately with the occasional mindless urge to wander aimlessly.
Working Group seeks stable chairperson with coffee and donuts…
New Antarctica Kalapa Center shrine, McMurdo Station
Regional Governance Model based on Microbial Genome Architecture Proposed for Antarctica
South Pole practitioners demand autonomy based on ancient mushroom traditions.
Gesar’s penguins dispatched to negotiate peace among the ‘shrooms!
Hidden teachings discovered by winged butterfly…
Double great east sunrise, mandated by new weather service
Shambhala Weather Service Announced
Twenty-four hour local and regional meterological reports to be based on the Tibetan calendar.
Sunny days are doubled, snow and ice banned from weekends, and auspicious weather for all beings supplicated!
“It’s raining cats and dogs” adapted to include oxen, monkeys, mice and tigers, alternating female and male…
Shambhala moon landing, April 1, 2009
Shambhala Meditation Group Established on the Moon
Satellite centres expected soon!
A small group of dedicated practitioners have planted the flag of dharma in what is described as a “very open environment.”
Weightless environment said to reduce likelihood of umdze falling asleep, but not drifting off…
Click here to visit Lunar Surface Shambhala Meditation Group’s website
Dapons L-12 and H-4 model new Dorje Kasung uniforms
Michelle Obama Designs New Uniforms for Dorje Kasung
Bright colors, large brooches and fake pearls said to be de rigeur.
Dapons and Khenchens turn in gold braid and epaulets for bare arms and toned biceps!
First Lady declares 4C the new khaki – J. Crew receives massive contract for kilts, culottes and chemises…
Exclusive to Shambhala Times: Dorje Kasung Releases New Vehicle Training Video
Watch as two dedicated kasung race to the encampment grounds, late for the climactic battle…
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Apr 1, 2009
Reply
That was great; thank you.