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Apr 01
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Shambhala Time Out

The Shambhala Shop now offers complete Kitty Buddah Kit - cat not included

New Inter-species Study Group a Great Success

Patience seems to be the key word during walking meditation with snails.

Weekend morning drill practice with howler monkeys upsets neighbors.

Resident Elephant Director gives astonishing Friday night public talk…

Click here for details

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President and aide de camp exchange secret military mudras

President Reoch Spends Week in One Place
Moss reportedly growing on right side of face

While reports of Shambhala’s president residing in a single location longer than two days defy the imagination, our reporter has reliable evidence of Terrifying Face lounging at Club Med!

Aide de camp caught off guard – proceeds to Outer Mongolia, Iceland and then Peru before discovering the president has gone missing…

Click here for details

Mandala Services Office of Central Communications in high gear

Shambhala Media Discovers Telegraph
The Mandala Services Group has purchased the latest in modern communications technology

Expects significant increase in intra-provincial correspondence over the next fifty years!

Immediately overwhelmed with user demands – system crashes…

Click here for details

Oryoki master tests nutritional value of new "one bowl" practice

Office of Practice and Education Announces “Oryoki for the Fast Crowd”
New menu from Swansons could change centuries-old traditions

Comptroller praises move as significant cost-saving feature!

Bill of fare to be distributed via telegraph annually on Shambhala Day…

Click here for details

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Comptroller’s Office Hires New Recruits
Shambhala’s Central Services Has Hired Off-Duty Purnachandra Personnel to Handle Finances

Members of the Kasung Naval Forces are hard at work to account for income and expenses.

Their first task: to distribute fairly the donuts required by Shambhala newest working group, The Working Group for Contemplation of and Compassionate Action Regarding Days-Off. [see next article] A decision is expected within the next six months, if the money holds out.

Next: the new finance professionals will examine requests for coffee distribution.

Click here for details

Days-Off Working Group meets to coordinate strategies for doing nothing

Days-Off Working Group meets to coordinate strategies for doing nothing

Working Group formed to Contemplate Days-Off
Survey volunteers are needed in mandala-wide assessment on how to work compassionately with the occasional mindless urge to wander aimlessly.

Working Group seeks stable chairperson with coffee and donuts…

Click here for details

New Antarctica Kalapa Center shrine, McMurdo Station

Regional Governance Model based on Microbial Genome Architecture Proposed for Antarctica
South Pole practitioners demand autonomy based on ancient mushroom traditions.

Gesar’s penguins dispatched to negotiate peace among the ‘shrooms!

Hidden teachings discovered by winged butterfly…

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Double great east sunrise, mandated by new weather service

Shambhala Weather Service Announced
Twenty-four hour local and regional meterological reports to be based on the Tibetan calendar.

Sunny days are doubled, snow and ice banned from weekends, and auspicious weather for all beings supplicated!

“It’s raining cats and dogs” adapted to include oxen, monkeys, mice and tigers, alternating female and male…

Click here for details

Shambhala moon landing, April 1, 2009

Shambhala Meditation Group Established on the Moon
Satellite centres expected soon!

A small group of dedicated practitioners have planted the flag of dharma in what is described as a “very open environment.”

Weightless environment said to reduce likelihood of umdze falling asleep, but not drifting off…

Click here to visit Lunar Surface Shambhala Meditation Group’s website

New unifoirms issued for kasung, designed by American First Lady

Dapons L-12 and H-4 model new Dorje Kasung uniforms

Michelle Obama Designs New Uniforms for Dorje Kasung
Bright colors, large brooches and fake pearls said to be de rigeur.

Dapons and Khenchens turn in gold braid and epaulets for bare arms and toned biceps!

First Lady declares 4C the new khaki – J. Crew receives massive contract for kilts, culottes and chemises…

Click here for details

Exclusive to Shambhala Times: Dorje Kasung Releases New Vehicle Training Video

Watch as two dedicated kasung race to the encampment grounds, late for the climactic battle…

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1 response to “ Shambhala Time Out ”
  1. Deborah Arak
    Apr 1, 2009

    That was great; thank you.

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